


Whiskey River

by DixieDale



Category: Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:18:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: Whiskey river, take my mindDon't let her memory torture meWhiskey river, don't run dryYou're all I got, take care of me(Co-written by Johnny Bush, as sung by Willie Nelson)





	Whiskey River

They were talking old girl friends, a subject initiated by that last mission and running into yet another of Actor's old girl friends (thankfully this one still well inclined towards him, unlike a couple of the others they experienced). The amount of whiskey that subject seemed to call for was loosening even Chief's normally tight lips. The first round had been 'the prettiest', the next round 'the hottest', and so it went. Oh, it had all started out pretty innocuous, nothing too intense though certainly racy enough to suit the occasion and the participants, but each round of drinks led to another round of recollections, and it wasn't long before they found themselves in slightly deeper waters. 

The final round had been decided. '_________________, the one who left a lasting impression', and the waters there were deep enough to drown in, at least in a couple of places. 

Chief started that last round, not because he really wanted to, but they were taking it in turns based on the seating, and he was up next. That he even mentioned her name showed how much he'd had to drink.

"Christine" he said in a low voice, reaching to touch the chain he'd worn for so long, but had given back to her at their last meeting. He still missed it being there sometimes, sometimes even forgot it WASN'T there anymore.

"I loved her." That came out so easy, he'd told himself that for so long. Now he frowned, wondering just how true that was, how true it had ever been. He started over.

"MAYBE I loved her. Sometimes I think we were more in love with the idea. We didn't really seem to belong, either of us, like we were just drifting through a world where everyone else had people, a place, a reason, but not us. I think maybe we both just wanted, needed someone to belong to, have someone who belonged to us, maybe to make us both feel more real. For awhile, that worked, even after I got sent up, just knowing she was there, waiting . . . ". 

He shrugged. "For her, me being sent away to prison, not being there with her, I guess she needed more than just letters and promises. Probably for the best. Sooner or later, what we maybe had probably wouldn't have been enough anyway, for either of us. She deserved better than that." It was perhaps telling that he didn't say anything about HIM deserving better than that as well. 

He didn't have to, Goniff said it for him. "You deserve better than that too, Chiefy; and one a these days, maybe . . ."

Casino and Actor had nodded, serious for once. "Damn straight, Indian." "He is right, you know."

 

Casino had the floor next.

"Teresa Marie D'Angelo, from the old neighborhood, when I was sixteen. Shit, she wasn't my first by a long shot, but she came damned near being my last! Big Joey D'Angelo's little sister. Big Joey'd been away doing a dime, see, come back figuring time had just stopped when he got sent up. Still thought of Teresa Marie like she was ten, ya know? No one wanted to be the one to tell him that little Teresa Marie had more notches on her bedpost than there are around the roof of that fancy building HQ is in. Had a real appetite on her, and a body that pulled em in whenever she set her sights on a guy. And she had some skills that kept em coming back for as long as she wanted; I tell you, the mouth on that babe!!!"

"Anyhow, Big Joey comes back, and me, I'm young and stupid," glaring at the sotto voce comments seeming to find that less than surprising, as evidenced by Actor's sly "well, at least you are now free of ONE of those impediments!".

He growled, but continued. "Like I was sayin, I'm young and stupid, I hear that door slam but don't think about it being Big Joey. Next thing I know, I'm being tossed down the stairs, naked as a jaybird, Teresa Marie squealing, Joey yellin about how he's gonna kill me for 'violating his baby sister'."

"So, what changed his mind?" Chief asked.

"Their little sister, Chiara. She's standing there, mouth all scrunched up, just like her Mom, tosses me one of the throws off the back of the couch, tells me to 'cover your dumb ass, hot shot!', and lays it all out for Joey."

"Course, Teresa Marie is screaming for her to shut up, knowing Big Joey just might lower the boom on HER next, but Chiara - she's like fourteen, ya know? - she's been keeping count, names, ages, all of it, for a heck of a long time. Says it's hard for her to even talk to a boy anymore for them all thinking she's like her big sister, handing it out left and right. Tells Big Joey I'm just one in a long, long chain, just the latest. Tells Big Joey I aint the youngest, neither, not even the most stupid, but that in her opinion any man climbing into bed with Teresa Marie couldn't be all THAT bright! Then she marches up the stairs, shoves Teresa Marie outta the way, grabs my clothes and tosses them to me, tells me to get my sorry ass home and to keep my mouth shut. Big Joey just nods to me, but that frown letting me know he agreed with all that. I lit out like my pants were on fire."

"So w'at 'appened with Teresa Marie?"

"Joey gave her a choice; marry old man Delucca around the corner or head off to that convent his aunt was Mother Superior at. Seems neither really rang the chimes for her; she popped his safe and took off with the contents that night. Never heard from her again, any of them, least not so's I heard."

"Tell you one thing, all the way up to the time she got married, I sent Chiara a big box of chocolates on her birthday. Hell, hadn't been for her, woulda been pushing up daisies more'n likely."

Casino reached out to pour another drink, missing the low whisper from Chief to Goniff, "and he obviously learned SO MUCH from that experience!" Casino gave them a suspicious look when he caught that sly grin on their faces and heard Goniff's snickering, but sat back to listen to Actor's story without much questioning.

 

Actor had a less haughty, perhaps more thoughtful look on his face than usual. "Marie Laclerc, Countess de Chambrum," ignoring the snorts and Casino's muttering of "yeah, of course she was a Countess; another of his fancy dames!" 

"Did I love her? No, I will be honest about that, at least not love as you might mean it. But I owe her so much. It was she who taught me so much, helped me to grow into the man I wished to be."

"Did she love me? No, I was her protege, though I was her lover as well, of course. The education she provided was extremely well-rounded. She DID love having me at her side, having her friends exclaim over her so-much-younger attendant. Marie was perhaps twenty," he paused, then smiled ruefully, "well, perhaps thirty, maybe a few more years my senior. She was still graceful and lovely, extremely well-educated; her literary salon was considered one of the most challenging and sought-after in all of Europe. It was an education just to have the privilege of listening to the learned discourse there. I remained until she had taught me all she wished to, and it was not as if I lacked for the attentions of others perhaps somewhat closer to my own age. She felt that was part of my education as well, and encouraged that."

"You left? Sounds like a pretty sweet setup," Casino offered.

Actor smiled and shook his head. "For Marie, half, if not more, of the pleasure was in the teaching. The taking of one young and a little gauche and turning him into someone who would not be out of place in the finest of establishments. Once she reached that goal, she became quickly bored. I wasn't her first protege, by any means; I know I wasn't her last. A young Russian, purportedly of noble blood but very rough around the edges, took my place. I believe it was an Argentinian who eventually deposed Sergei."

 

Goniff studied his glass, deciding to make something up, but somehow the name that came from his lips was one he never thought he'd mention to these guys, not the real story anyway. He'd never told ANYONE about Amy Ann before.

"Amy Ann Collins - prettiest thing I'd ever seen, I thought back then, certainly the prettiest that had looked MY way. Course, at sixteen, you aren't all that picky, not when a pretty woman seems to fancy you."

"Met 'er when I was seeing w'at might be laying around that set of flats where no one seemed to be living anymore. Blimey, coulda knocked me over with a feather, finding 'er there, all tucked up sweet and snug in that set of rooms on the top floor at the back. Quite a twiddle she 'ad, seemed to me, 'eat laid on and water, but no landlord to come looking for the rent. Not an overly fancy place, but nice, still. Seemed to be 'appy to 'ave company, though a little shy at first. Well, maybe we both were, in the beginning. She was a bit older than me, by a few years anyway, seemed to 'ave a knowing way about 'er, but still, not brazen or anything like that."

"Came it got to be regular, my stopping in, and things started getting nice and warm, you know. But she'd never want to go out anyw'ere, no matter what, not for a walk, not even go round to the pub for a pint together, or to the market. Thought maybe she didn't want to be seen with me, 'er being more than a bit 'igher on the rungs than me. Swore that weren't it, but still, she was set on staying in that flat when we was together. Wouldn't come let me introduce 'er to me mum, even. Probably best, would most likely 'ave just given the old bastard w'at was supposed to be me father another reason to laugh at me if I tried. And 'e would 'ave, for sure, thinking someone like 'er would be with someone like me."

He took another drink, shuddered as the impact of all the liquor started making itself felt. The guys were soon having a good shudder of their own, as Goniff's story took an unexpected turn.

"Still, I coulda loved 'er, you know. I mean, if she 'adn't been dead for the past fifty or sixty years. That kinda put a crimp in the romance. Not so much from 'er point of view, it seems, but once I figured it all out, w'at with all I found in that little room next to the bedroom, it seemed to limit things a bit more than I'd bargained for."

Actor wasn't the only one who blinked, wondering if he'd heard all of that wrong.

"Kept going back though; couldn't see anything long-term there, considering, but it was nice, being there with 'er, and she seemed to like me being there too, and she got all sad w'enever I started talking about maybe it wasn't such a good thing, w'at with there being that big difference between us.

"Then, she started talking about 'forever' and 'ow it wouldn't take much to arrange that, you know? Never growing old, always being together, love everlasting. Still, wasn't sure spending the rest of eternity in that little flat was so tempting after all, even with 'er being there with me. Sides, 'ad a feeling it was only me being alive and still breathing that kept 'er going, so to speak. Told me once she couldn't remember much between the time 'e'd left, 'im w'at set 'er up in that place, and me showing up at 'er doorstep like that. Made me wonder if it was all just a in-between-place, and who could tell when the next 'me' was likely to show up, or whether 'e or she'd want to stick around to let the pair of us be 'real' for a little while."

"Got to thinking, too, about that old building, wondering what'd 'appen if someone took the notion to re-do it and rent the rooms out again, maybe even tear it down. What then?"

"Sides, once she showed me a picture of the one who'd left 'er like that, from the smile on 'er face, the way 'er fingers traced over 'is face, I could tell 'ow much she loved 'im, still wanted 'im. Wasn't me she really wanted, but 'im, the one who'd set 'er up in that place, and then just walked away w'en 'e found someone else. And w'ile I may 'ave looked somew'at like 'im, it wasn't me. Tried to laugh it off, tell 'er that, and for awhile she didn't talk about it anymore."

"Then she started up again, and seemed pretty set on the idea. For awhile thought she was gonna pull me across whether I wanted to or not. Once I woke up not able to breathe, face turned into the pillow too deep; seemed an odd thing to 'appen. Then one visit she offered me a cup of tea. Might seem like an ordinary thing to do, I know, but she never 'ad before - tea, coffee, anything to eat, never. Never 'AD seen 'er take a drop, a bite, neither, not of anything. Something made me think twice about drinking it, and she seemed a little put out. Decided not to go there again; missed 'er and all, but still . . ." 

He took another drink from his glass, eyes distant before he raised them to look at the others and shrug. "If it 'ad been me she was really wanting for that 'forever', maybe I'd 'ave gone along; who knows? Coo, that would mean a lot, being wanted that bad, you know?? But just as a 'make do' for the one w'at 'ad walked off and left 'er? Bad enough being a 'make do' for others, but for a ghost? Seemed that was crossing a line some'ow."

There was a sadness there that made made them hurt right along with him. It was Actor who broke the spell Amy still seemed to cast over the Englishman whenever he thought of her. "I believe that was a very wise decision, Goniff. After all, I hardly think Meghada looks at you as a 'make do'."

That haunted face stilled, then brightened, then a shy smile, "yer right there, she dont. Don't know why, but she dont." 

It was only after they were alone that Chief added, low, quiet, "don't think the Warden looks at you as a 'make do' either, ya know. Neither do the guys and me." 

That was a very odd thought, considering all the years he'd considered himself just that, from the time he'd been little more than a toddler listening to his 'father' list out all his failings and shortcomings, bemoaning having HIM instead of a 'proper son', someone big and brawney like he'd expected, like he'd deserved.

{"If Meghada don't think that way, if Craig don't, if even the guys don't, maybe it was 'IM, the old bastard, w'at was wrong. Coo, 'ave to do some thinking on THAT!"}

He thought of that building, that series of flats once more, then resolutely put it all out of his mind. That was the past, and he had a very full present to deal with. And maybe, just maybe, a pretty full future as well.

 

The following morning as the dulcet tones of Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins bellowed from the stairs, "get yer lazy arses in gear! Rifle range in fifteen minutes!"

Casino rolled up to sit on the side of his cot, dropping his head in his hands. "Shit! How much did we DRINK last night???!"

"Too damned much, Pappy," Chief groaned, rolling his tongue around in his desert-dry mouth.

"I must agree. The obstacle course is not going to be overly pleasurable this morning." Actor looked a long way from his dapper best, that was for certain.

Goniff rubbed his hands through his hair, "don't remember 'ow much we drank, Casino. Don't even remember w'at all we talked about," he declared, but with a slightly worried look at the others. He remembered, all right, wished he didn't, hoped fervently the others did NOT remember. Well, considering, he figured they were wishing the same if they DID remember.

The other three quickly disclaimed all memory of the night, the conversation. That might even have been the truth. 

Nah, probably not.


End file.
